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Off​-​Brand Adult

by Little King Trash Mouth

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1.
Kids just listen to themselves They don't left-brain anything Kids don't adhere to every rule, So they're petty, joyful, sweet, and cruel I am a kid in the face of people in the right place Trying my best but maybe it's not as much as the rest All massive pools of talent & endless waves of shit But I don't have tantrums cuz I'm busy having fits I give kids faces on the train It makes me look like an idiot A complete goddamn idiot And I'm comfortable with that So if your kid points & tells you quick to look And in ages tectonic I will live along the faults I am zookeeper, astronaut, and heroes in a book Don't mind this now I rambling as an off-brand adult Words are just attempts at fire In bottles, floor layings, and tilt-a-whirls It's an attempted flying through courses And it's coursing like blood, & lymph, & scraped knees I am a kid in the face of people in the right place Trying my best but maybe it's not as much as the rest All massive pools of talent & endless waves of shit But I don't have tantrums cuz I'm busy having fits
2.
In a moment I'll smash everything If it's so that appearances deceive Everything bound to time & passing Yeah dude, I'm fine - But I think that's mostly in my mind Cuz outside trees, states, and bridges are burning I'm no destroyer am circling on sense I want to be order in accordance But I've thought of sense as so meekly subordinate You want amazing land & freeing gaits? Well, the resplendent gains of spring await! But I'll drown the perfect melody And eat the blossoms right off the blooming trees The stresses of lite-responsibilities And dropped inclinations left in thatches of trees A family life, safety, and normativity Last year's nest & these precious swollen feet So tired taking bodies across wet concrete Will the cold rain ever stop falling? Because not driving, and holes in these boots Just eat away till I feel jealous of dry cars - Anywhere you want, it's somewhere you could try to go You want beautiful songs of clear conscience? Then a hard fucking life is your new portent Cuz I dance to the good bands and like my good songs But since when have I know “good” cuz I'm always so wrong?
3.
I found out somewhere along the line That starvation doesn't suit me I need loves and friends to spend my time with Just like I need food at 2 AM I need a fix, and quick, and for $3.75 We can get buffet food down the hill What I don't need are... Pre-gaming drunk-ass creeps on MTA trains Overpriced New York pizza with shitty, floppy crust Explotative fake friends you can never, ever trust Bad feelings and dead cousins in a hearse Endless torture classroom times & falling asleep All the suffix-phobia fucks & their political bullshit Macho pop-punk moshing & all that “hometown” crap Arrogant rich pricks and their gentrifying waves And the complete dissolving of all we'd like to save It screams like complete craziness from that light patches of my heart I can't stand, I can't sit, & I sure as hell can't sleep no more A tentative relationship to futures Falling through our stiffened fingers Cuz we gotta give it up, eventually We have to to jack the wheel to nobody This cut is gonna bleed, then harden to a small scar (2x) And this fragile life gets baked into a a humble pie
4.
From this place where I stand I can see across the river to Manhattan But that's not where I'm going And that's simply the truth Because talk may take across the bridge But my feet speak languages of powerful tongues More so then I make with my mouth On any given day And I am shit and I've come to this Conclusion too often and I almost believe it Because words mean too goddamn much to me I've commit my life and blood to their meaning I don't want to be talk anymore Because it's been nothing but cover and smoke And the way we all cop-out A gephyromaniacal fit - A deep and endless pit Of sickening kinks and kinks in my hair - Why don't we just fucking go somewhere? I don't care where or anything, just Go to a place that we've not seen before And not just pretend for the sake Of etiquette or make believe I try to get my shit together But my shit is like me It's wrecked and apathetic Broken, and unfree.
5.
I may never hurt a soul But that doesn't stop violence in any damn way I could seek consent like scripture But people get violated every fucking day And I may never kill a cop But it won't stop a cop from killing whoever they want My ignorance just ain't steeling And gouged out eyes don't make a difference at all It's not like a soapbox to preach When we're talking about other human beings And lives on the thinnest line Even if these aren't mine I can't close my ears outside - Because ignorance is comfortable Because ignorance is just what I'm used to I clean so consistently But I think it's because I feel useless otherwise This is just like life: Ineptitude, and action pointlessly wrought But we can improve forever Beyond living space & into life itself But we're still selfish inside And this is one royal we, and this is one unappetizing realization About a year ago, I made it a project To be better & considerate And fight the forces that would kill me & my friends And kill them instead because I have to kill something Or I get stir crazy & that's just no good If it's blood or ignorant haze I'll take blood any day If to destroy is creative – then I'll destroy creatively.
6.
I feel a little bit a salty And more than need be tired My hair can't grow no longer And my brain keeps filling with sex Cuz I can't stop thinking about skin Everything strays to small towns and warm weather And Foot Ox grows in me like I'm rotting flesh Twitter is my life in little thoughts And tiny moving parts make a warm heart Beats take my soul in parcels And line breaks fill the holes in my voice The floor is lava and I can't be safe this way I am rotting flesh experiencing life inside a lens Corpse-like trying to suss the place where my emotions fall In their stride I spit in spite to reveal them in saliva light Dark eye circles not raccoons but half-dead necromancy My body operates as a system If it failed I would die in a moment I am the system, fuck me, fuck me I try to isolate emotion in verse And allude without saying in so few words But allusion creates illusion to clutter with shit But it's the only path I have to to truth But I have no truth, no center, I fall off in cold breaks Hold me, I'm a ghost, make me flesh and bone and soul again.
7.
Cold nights & sugary coffee Are not what I need Because I'm a wreck as it is And my feelings run as hot as steam But only Sun can really melt a thing in thickened frost Goddamn, I feel like an asshole Because I can't help but feel so fucking stupid Saying “hello” or asking how you're doing now This is the only way I'll tell you In a language only I can understand That I think I've gone a bit off the rails And I mean you - the rails – be careful, get on the switch Warm winters & bitter coffee Are the things that I so need Because I need a may now And sometimes in a tandem of hands to be But it's not so simple, and I make a fool of myself sometimes I'm just a pile of stupid-ass emotions ad. Inf. Deluded myself into thinking that I was a person Who could be counted on for calm & rational sense But these distortions lie & I overflow most every day Simply speaking – this is a cold & unaccountable rain I hate myself at times like these & I can't even fucking say it Like here, there's enough to say a whole world's worth With this forced, pressured, crazy writing it makes me feel insane Needless to say this is a long & staid rain I can't keep a thing & you know I can't assert a damn thing at all Speaking of emotions is like pulling stitches from a screaming mouth Worse still, it stay's pretty much the same It may be hard to see but there's a respite from this rain I'm just a pile of stupid-ass emotions...
8.
I think about the things I own That came from or were fermented in the warm, clear Florida air Considering essences & reconciling differences An incubated state in palm memories Distending out towards fingers marking spots along the back ways Hey! You heard me! I'm sorry about this everything... Cuz it's not to do with me, nothing to do with me Hey! You heard me! I'm sorry about this everything... Cuz I swear it's not to do with me, got nothing to do with me Hey! You know that those times are ephemeral But we're like pizza & we change but we never really change I care so much that it tolls on me And I can't make choices, only prospectives There's no pain that's manageable Cuz it's all all-consuming and nasty ...and it wears on the insides of me Hey! You heard me! I'm sorry about this everything... The house that's there, T-squared, it's all just “all used to be” Hey! You know that those days are eternal Cuz we're like pizza & we change but we never really change
9.
Phlegmington 02:34
The next time I'll feel my heart float Like lightness of being coming into relief Oh it's nothing, I swear, oh it's nothing I swear, it'll be the way I really die So drop my body in the middle of New Jersey In some waste pit cuz it'll be so refreshing But forget those last lines I'll pretend I never sang 'em Don't over-think me don't pay a mind at all I'm just a phlegm-based blood spilling out through my eyes But I don't want to cry or die just solemnly sing; “I'd like to be the fire cross cutting through that sweet frost ring” Don't say a thing that'll leave me bold & eagle eyed Or a fish floating in the ocean carried by some stupid tide And the reel gets real when it breaks up some open wounds Never putting out the facts but thinking; Forget this whole song and I'll pretend I never wrote it Don't hear this melody just skip it altogether I have no words to say or message to convey This is just a ukulele song so I can impress indie girls I swear on my grave. RadHos is like a kiss that I'll forever ever miss Living a sole life of nagging-ass regrets And get stacked like dirty plates away in dusty cabinets I want to share myself with you But being a boy is some kind of affliction Because I am a me, but a me no else sees It does no good to anybody when you're soft like grass and fade like insects
10.
We have waves of deceit of poured out platelets & retreats Of bait & anxiety Choice, of one and another And the slipperiness of sex party mix & train wrecks. We pile, dogpile, a part but apart A part, but apart And this isn't being solved The hole goes deeper with each hand holding
11.
For all the pieces to be in place It wouldn't really matter time nor place Or the motion of the tides through Our limbs and nervous strings I miss all of that confidence That let's me kiss a forehead and move down to the lips (A sinew) I'm not strong like I was when I thought of kissing you I've retreated into cold dreams of experimental hues And I'm an idiot who's quit on everything And I'm not proud to say But I've thought of others this way I'm as good as I wanna be And I want need to convince anyone of anything Just sleep well I'll be here in the morning too Decisions are some serious shit.
12.
Trying to pick at problems Without ever, ever solving them I hang on the words you told to me The pain in my fingertips In these agents of hot activity Trying to pick up meanings Without making any meaning of it I fall off the sights that blind me The weakness in these eyes Light leaking from the depths of it I'll look back and say; “I should've said what I should've said” But there's nothing to say, it's all been said It's banal, and boring It's stupid, and I'm tired. Pick at fresh scabs no Solution – hearts to pillars of flame These guts of flowers – so frail & few The sights of spring, the rites of may Make me flutter & reconstitute sighs I'm 22 years old and I'm still having baby crushes But I'm outfit with off-brand adulthood I'm so grown up, that I'm always breaking down This is what I get, life goes on and on without me And these things are fucking meaningless Upholding it just gets to me And I'm oppressed by cuteness and held hostage by politeness, fastidiousness, work ethic...
13.
I think I've been silly trying to find answers in love It just gets stranger still as it opens up And things really just get difficult And we listen to heartbeats in between tumult Carefully carefree with tarots in bubble tea And as if anything meant anything I'll swear on these symbols' silence Cuz I think it means a lot to me To maintain opaque anonimity, I'm not human I'm a sad song of hopeful dreams So learn these chords and & play along You'll feel like embers and the smoke they all have drawn We are luggage & pasted histories & masks Coated with dust & breathing reprisals of ash I'm hollow without that - I'm empty & flat Sentiment on my bones now becomes my only fat “Queering” a thing is just diamoning outlooks Being anything between, is the most amazing thing Be my careless platonic My agendered sensibility Be something I can hold That tells this soul it's not untold Be an ear, be a page with which Like a knife I explore myself
14.
They knock the small punks over Even if it's fucked and cruel Spin kicks in the middle of the room Cuz they just get lost in how they're cool Violence begets violence and I hate your bullshit Your macho, posturing, carnal bullshit And I'm not throwing fists I'm throwing shade On all the shit that you think is OK You try and tell me some shit about something like “hardcore integrity” But let school you about something called punk rock fuckin' decency You're a fucking asshole and I want you away from me You're the reason PUP got fucked in Toronto Egotistic dickhead just tryna show off moves like yeah you go to the gym, that's cool But keep spins over there cuz I'm chillin to Facility and I got personal space You tryna get shit out now but You're making shit for everybody now If this is hardcore than fuck it, I' m out until y'all be civil But the people huddled on the side are not fucking targets, ok​?

about

This is an album of distress. It's made in insane yelps in escaping from a person drowning in everything. In sadness, unfulfillment, anxiety, nervousness, hopelessness, anger, and everything goddamn else. Quite unusually, I feel fiercely disconnected from the construction of this album – it flowed, lyrically, musically, and performatively as a subconscious seed producing a sickly wilting flower. It doesn't even feel finished even though it validly is. I can scarcely remember scrawling this lyrics out like foamed-mouth ravings and gently insane vignettes of a life on the fringe of good sense and upstanding moral values.

I'll just leave the whole emotional sensibilities of this thing to rot now. Surely, much of the emotional content here is spurious, impulsive, fiery, and entirely temporal. Do I exactly feel the things expressed herein anymore? I don't know – the nature of the spurious impulse is such that it is often unaccountable to retrospective analyses, I am unconvinced of my own sincerity so how can I be necessarily convinced of the honesty of my art? I dunno, I'm a significantly biased party in this equation and can't give anything approaching an unbiased philosophical position.

If my happiness is based on the idea that everything is a sick joke I remain uneasy with it. It's just that every parcel of care in my system stands so steadfast, so valiant against the stagnant tides of apathy and despondency, that it almost starts to make a goddamn difference. If you could quantify life – which is a pretty worthless endeavor, actually – and take these 2 values and subtract them from each other, this album would be the resulting difference. Or something. I've pathologized and made valid lies in my own mind so everything is salty...eh...grain of salty.

If this is in fact what sensitivity means, I'll take the consecration of my life to the eternal pillar of flames as a desirable alternative, thank you very much. I'm done writing for now, everything else I could possibly venture to emotionally express would just be profanizing and banalizing the very sentiments and thus a waste of text.

Kill all the things that bind you,
Little King Trash Mouth (LKTM)

P.S.

Minor CW for “The Most Ignorant Veil” - sexual assault and police violence
The rest isn't too objectionable, unless you really hate whining and swear words of course. In which case run far, far, fucking away.

P.S II - The last track isn't anti-mosh, it's anti-machismo and anti-violence, that's all.

credits

released April 29, 2016

I played and wrote all tha shit

album cover concept by Little King Trash Mouth

designed by Suna and Little King Trash Mouth

photographed by Suna in my father's kitchen on the fridge

Soundbites
-"A Kiss, A Kiss, A Kiss" - Rick & Morty
-"Trash Talk" - Bob's Burgers
-"Sugulite" - Steven Universe
-"Tallahassee Emo Times" -"Tallahassee Lassie" by Freddy Cannon
-"Moshpit Jenendez" - SLC Punk
-"Miny Lunch" - Merry/HappyLand Buffet, Bronx, NY


Don't sue me.

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Little King Trash Mouth Peekskill, New York

Hi, I'm Little King Trash Mouth. I play ridiculous and sometimes even good songs on guitar and other instruments. I've had too many monikers. Cute firebomb, red roses, ACAB, decolonized and ecological political parity. Most of this music is from manic episodes. ... more

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