Valorizing the bad moods I fall in Just romanticizes all the worst in life Tears can’t fill a swimming pool So what good are they even for, But great films, orgasms, or watering plants? I guess my navel was getting mundane But oh, there I go again 1st person pronouns - me, me, me! So goddamn sickeningly boring Waring holes in my shoes through my Laser eyes beams & former glories Stupidity is what I’m born from But that really shouldn’t get much in the way Nihilism is a swamp of sinking That makes a struggle everyday This world’s sort of a mess of bad things And I guess that’s what’s in the mix But a whine, long, shrill, and piercing Is probably not gonna be the fix It’d be dope to fall in love Or even feel something even one point adjacent And I would like to just admit this for one To get the trouble all off my chest Yeah and my chest is sunken in, from the hollowness that fills it I guess honesty is getting boring So I'll lie to save my face Oh but that's a lie - or is this a lie? The rhetoric is dizzying Wearing holes in my armor Through bladed tongues & sincere smiles (No more) Valorizing all these stupid moods I fall in Just romanticizes all the worst parts of me Yeah these tears they can't fill anything at all So what are they even coming out of here for, But good films, and good art, and watering plants? Nothing.

Sunset train & swelling river A subway running through the sky An overcast, a bout of rain A sun succeeding in the end Take the city like a peach And drain the juice, take what you need World collapsing to a quarter Spend it on games or abolish all borders Cloudy showers & beaming skies Live through each climate in the course of a day A warm bending air on Manhattan at night Slow setting Sun takes me back home alright June’s been so plain that I could just Forget that it happened & lose nothing at all But this day has glistened like puddles of sol And I'll store it in my pocket for days untold But in the sparkling dusk a book appears of dust I pluck it like a fruit and suck it on the train ride home

There are no movies in the theatre It feels like art has taken roost Up in a tall tree, forever receding Never to come back Apathy seeding When it’s all the same shit It can get really boring Never hits, let’s talk of expression If the planet’s gonna burn Summer’s gonna last forever Blockbuster’s from now until the hereafter By the end of the session You can start to feel dirty Hands trembling, stiff neck faced ahead Eye wide & open-mouthed Can make you feel dead Life in lost colors Without function or device Paint stroke or a brain stroke - Let’s dissect innocence To make something bespoke? You might as well have not have spoke at all There is one channel of communiqué And it seems to be shrinking like a lake Receding shorelines compressing aesthetics Praying for rain - sunshine and endless days Make it right, make it fine But it won't make it every time This is not the way I imagined it to be Make it a two, a four, a five And don't you dare ever proselytize You don't really wanna scare them away now, do you?

There are lots of things That I don’t even realize That have come to be expected But it feels like they’re out of reach Or were never even real Bedframes & pillows Passports, clean shoes, and Zillow I guess it’s like a language That’s managed to avoid me Or I never learned to speak I guess it’s impossible for me For me to live normally Too far along, life still disorderly Even at it's dullest, can't get it together If life runs 6 seasons I'm condemning this weather There are many things Written in languages I can't decipher Everybody's speaking All these words altogether And it seems so pretty But like Spanish I am left out Nothing more I'm being bowled Fire eating this four-leafed clover Evermore I'm collecting tickets I'll miss the show it's on in 5 minutes I think it’s impossible for me For me to live normally Too far along, life still disorderly Even at it's dullest, can't get it together If life runs 6 seasons I'm condemning this weather

There’s a reason that my hair is long I hate the ritual of cutting it For appeals to ghosts of social standards Like they’re not being made by a bunch of dicks If you wanna make like this sprawl is still to green Return the strip malls to deciduous And let the lawns grow to the waist Maybe then I’ll believe in its ecology Cuz for now we are drying water up And hiring workers for its keep Subjugating all the local flora For the sake of square green conformity And moreover it looks like shit I’ll take the chaos of some clumping weeds Over the same spread all over countrywide Disregarding life, looks, and everything We’re enslaved to fences And live prostrate at feet of mowers Just to be more like Our neighbors, their neighbors, and so on forever

I sat by a sundown river And no poems came to me Quite like they once had So silvery & easy Considered my life The years wasted in high school And no answers came to me Except to disappear Make like a cloud of dust Get carried down the river And deposited as sediment To eventually wash up on the shore And maybe a kid will skip my soul across And that throw will be a personal best Maybe, so I hope, but probably not

Time is immaterial But still time is everything The schedule we run by Terminal eventually My heart keeps calling me a coward Can't muster the guts to disagree But still sleep through the alarm You know what? I'm feeling selfish, I'll cancel my sense of self (Flipped hourglass Measuring hours) Got no real ideas Just fragments of imagination I've been drooling on my pillow When I should have been drooling on you Sand is a swift procession A suggestion to futures past Alive by candlelight & screen By the end of night a stifled scream To my imagination A single flickering bulb of light Tape playing on loop Cognition cold soup These lapses through the glass body Patterns ever-proceeding Let the shards aloft And scatter thinly across the sun-drenched floor It'll tear my feet open And bandages will never close Got no new ideas Just snatches the world should be I've been drooling in my sleep now When my spit should spell sentences Time is immaterial But still time is everything The schedule we run by Terminal eventually My heart keeps calling me a coward Can't muster the guts to disagree But still sleep through the alarm You know what? I'm feeling selfish, I'll cancel my sense of self (Flipped hourglass Measuring hours) Got no real ideas Just fragments of imagination I've been drooling on my pillow When I should have been drooling all over you

Got a new meaning to feeling blue Over-hours but you're underpaid And it's like you boss just don't care The faith that keeps the cogs a-spinnin' Needs the greaase of blood of patriots Conned enough to buy the mythos We got a new angle on seeing red All over the map and seeping into the land We got a new way we're all running blood Storming, overturning, and throwing a fit And it's like the people don't care And apathy keeps the money a-flowin' We grease the cogs of resignation With the sweat of the working poor Don't you get sick of being nice? (4x) Don't it all just get so stupid And tiring to even think of? Can you really blame The fire starters for starting fires? Or riots for the bodies Either dead or being drained? You know I thought that it was good To just stay in your own damn lane Maybe I won't salute for the sanctity of this state When it's all an artifice sandbagging a real change Is it polite to laugh when the villains lay dead? When we know it's not for manners that people fashion belief It's a howl, a dead friend, and the feelings that get left When living's a wreck and you just need some sleep & rest Don't you get sick of being nice? (5x)

If my teeth grew feet And exited my mouth That’d be fine I don’t like the bullshit anyway Go away If you’re dreaming and The teeth clatter to the floor Let them fall and don’t worry Then hang yourself from dental floss Until it snaps I am sick of everything And everything’s a waiting sickness Until I get insurance Every cut or scrape could be the end But I don't worry Let our teeth touch Unless that is too much You'll be the braces You'll be the floss But you're not saving me So don't misunderstand I'm just doing all i can for these teeth So it's something that I can keep

If your body is a tool You better get your money’s worth from it Bones stick out from stretching skin Muscles rip & tear & rend Apart from the exoskeleton I should have been born with a carapace To protect me from this death machine If your life is a story time You’d better learn to narrativize Life is not just from 9 to 5 And you’ll break your fingers tryna to climb Up the clouded peak so high Skeletons dot the trail along the way Shoulda been born a simple land so plain Instead of a byproduct of the death machine The only comfort comes In the bricks we’ve laid being set to rot Believe it or not Nothing is permanent Even set in stone is temporary So let go of all the debt we've been left to carry ‘Cuz when ocean meets rock What is set becomes upset Fukuyama gets washed like libraries of old And every dogma we’ve held fast to Gets its date in the court of time Whether we all will see it or not Should've been born with a gun in my tongue To shoot down the Hindenburg of this death machine

I think it'd be good If only for self-consciousness Barely recognize a mirror Hardly cook full thoughts by now Allow me the grey hair A mark of a villain And live to that code 'Cuz for me this next breath makes futures untold Blaming the past for the cause of the present Lay the head of the future to rest immaterial Silvers and greys in the sky & the mind Make for a timeline splintered out like split ends Comb out the knots, braid a new outlook Condition for beauty - the broken glass of illness I think it'd be good If only for my ego's health A sickening procession To be put to sleep for now Allow me a gap year To want for fifteen Alive for that whole time In the crook of a burrow A harmonious rhyme Blaming the past for everything's that transpired Laying flowers to bed in the garden of never Blues & soft pinks coloring skies to the west Make for a calm air that reminds me of youth Button of meaning, zipper difference The condition for change - catharsis & malaise I think it'd be good If only to break up monotony For a beautiful choir Form from the dirt of walkability Allow me a dreamscape A place comforting & clean And live for those moments On this faith that I place Every sensation serene

Success barometer Sketched out in coastlines alien Never know Los Angeles Or San Francisco's style Because at this rate I may never leave NY And sink solitary in the Hudson River And being carried out to the ocean Will be my only hope for escape No sunshine coast but a peninsula Feeding us into the Mexican Gulf I may know of being glamourous Was born of the gutter and there I'll stay The northwest got rain and millions of me But somehow that just don't sit right If there's a house or a coat of arms I'm forever outside it's strictures You know at this rate I may never leave Eastern Time And get absorbed into the Atlantic And a coarse "fuhgeddaboudit" The only therapy I need Maybe it's terribly boring To scribe your soul in geography But give me a goddamn choice And I'll for sure make the wrong one Love forever misplaced and loyalties misjudged I have married concepts as per usual Cold feet at the alter and alone again or... nothing. Just nothing. I love you for valleys And the miasma of the city But resent all that you represent And have come to since I left 'Cuz at this rate I may never leave New York You know at this rate I may never leave New York Just sink solitary into the Hudson River Get carried out to the Atlantic Ocean That'll be my only hope for escape But never mind all of this It's just a lover's squabble

I hope that it'll go fine But I really don't Fire burns the skin Emotion is tumult How about being for real For once in your life? Or so I say But don't practice what I preach Echoes of past I think I drew this picture once A pencil sketch to leave Eraser marks all on my heart How 'bout you run the car inside the garage? Doorbell hinges, jars of jelly, I'm just peanut butter toast I don't say what, just laugh myself dumb Think it all makes sense but still hate it anyway Dark prognostications Fire on my tongue I am a god casting curses To have all of this undone Not lapse a month I've already got what I want

I'll remove all my fingernails On the off-chance I may scratch someone And take every word as sacrosanct Like it's all written in a book Prose & poetry can't write themselves It's like that - only day to day I wish sometimes that I could pass away silently while I sleep And leave a whole wave of malaise Behind me Go from old to young - shithead to saintly To be better in death than ever alive To consecrate more meaning in my afterlife 4 chords & fabrication Are the only things I have equipped Lies are truth enough for now And every day proceeding forward Everything is pillows - plush against reality And facts are filtered toothlessly through this paradigm of whimpering If all the dreams that we dream come true They begin to clump into dismay Life & death betwixt in coils Wrapped around like DNA The building blocks of all our lives In suffering & ecstasy I lay to rest each dream I had Like every pet that shaped my life Each protestation too heavy to life Life on these terms a hanging scythe Prose & poetry - 'ya know hey can't float you So why even cling to them like this?

It's for the worst moments that I make The infrastructure of my better days Two nights alone my thoughts turn the very worst A lifetime alone and a psychology cursed And if I'll be reclusive And ever unvaluable Fashion my thoughts like lollipops And chew my ears open with hard gum drops Take these thoughts seriously Or no one will ever hear them Crashing into lines beautifully dumb Working hard to stop feeling anything at all If my skin peels yeah you know it won't make a difference And a snake-like self emerges forthwith I can't see a change proceeding on Except an ever-worsening pile of songs And if I'll be reclusive And my breath coated in sense Fashion my thoughts like millionaires Unbind myself from mortal cares Take these thoughts like jokes 'Cuz not anyone will hear 'em Crashing into lines lovingly stupid Cutting the cake & swallowing cupid

I barely know what I am So what of the rest of the human race If I exist then they exist And if stop to think, that’s overwhelming Think I saw myself on the midnight channel And who’s to call for a rescue rope? Pushed myself in, no hesitation Guess the fog is coming in tonight I made some friends and I am grateful But being honest I neglect them We all exist & I persist in breathing And it's pretty bogus Think I saw myself on the TV lately Not of me but who I'd wanna be Fell in backwards slowly faded And the fog is coming in tonight I'll not face myself Heaven falls like snowdown sigils Signifying that I'm dying Pale orchid petals & fading flesh Magatsu Hudson Valley And the mountains all have eyes that are staring Shadows keep on crawling It makes it so tough to keep alive Making friends with every person That I may ever come across Seems like an angle A goal noble & true But when I consider people - I'm tired We are all just making sure We have a tree for the next night And a blanket for when the weather's cold If it's a body, it's fine, we'll take it for now Think I saw myself on the Midnight Chanel And who's to call for a rescue rope? Pushed myself in no hesitation at all And I guess the fog is coming in tonight I'm a lover maybe but my romance is jade Green & unpolished & shaded with dark Not even to speak jaded, but also that too It's been so long since I sensed a real spark at all

I'm so unaffected And I guess that makes me cool And by cool of course I mean Really goddamn stupid If honesty's a virtue I'm like a sinner full of salt Dripping from my pores And latent in my soul ...You can taste it But all regardless My affect is like paper From which a future stays unwritten 'Cuz I've learned to not make such ambitious plans If love is like a poem I've never strung together rhymes Put out to pasture And I'm always disregarding signs Once saw someone staring And then they disappeared But I suppose that's alright I guess I really just don't care 5 more months of dark In the chamber of solitude Maybe that's just the thing To remedy my attitude But probably not I'm so unaffected And I guess that makes me cool And by cool of course I mean Really goddamn stupid ...You can see it on my face

Put it away in the closet Get it away for good Cover dead dreams with gasoline Surrender the good to the hungry true And stare at the flame Like a fortune unfolding There's something to be found In new beginnings But maybe I'm just getting slower And losing faith in futures But the story's so small like a kiss or a meeting A smell in the air reminding me of summer And stare at the shine Unless you fear going blind Like sight even matters In the presence of vision You know I've been misplacing spells in the books I haven't written And I've been losing hair in the desire to say something But it's all so quiet Slot it away in the attic An ember or a portrait with age With nouns are getting stupid it's best to just leave My soul's in a ticket anyway To a river fat with leeches and blood as a disease I am just a sick dog scratching ripping into all of my fleas